Do The Golden Globes Really Count?

Well, no, not really. {Kind of.} They exist to hold us off until The Oscars. Award Shows - why do we care? Why do we watch them? To see which blabbers are cut off by classy music? To see if Tilda Swinton comes out of her human shell [we all know she is an alien.] Jeez, why is the red carpet ceremony so long? I know I don't care about it. Who is wearing what animal that was labored for over 16 and a half hours by migrant slave children? How many migrant slave children died whilst making YOUR dress?

Why are they smiling? Angelina's dress is not made yet and their hands are not even bleeding!

I'll be watching for one reason: Ricky Gervais is hosting. [Don't believe me? Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TJBzcP3Q6g] He is funny - he will probably veer away from the teleprompter a few times - nothing unusual. The winners don't really matter. It's all about DVD sales and shiny gold and silver stickers that say "Golden Globe Nominee" or "Oscar Winner" or something. Money and Hollywood politics. That's pretty much it.

Shiny Paperweight. That's all it is.

I am watching though, so why not make a predictions list? It shall keep me busy and we can all see just how bad I am at guessing at things like this. I'll post how many I got right after the show, you know, if I didn't do that poorly. It's divided up into 2 categories: [1] The one I WANT to win & [2] The one I THINK will win. It's cool when they turn out to be the same. [When this occurs, it will be in BLUE.] I'll let you know when I'm guessing aka just plain bullshitting. [Look for the color brown. Bullshit, get it?] I took out a few categories I knew nothing about. Here we go. Enjoy:

Sorry about the caps - I'm a lazy copier and paster.

1. BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

a. AVATAR
b. THE HURT LOCKER
c. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
d. PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL PUSH BY SAPPHIRE
e. UP IN THE AIR

2. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

a. EMILY BLUNT [THE YOUNG VICTORIA]
b. SANDRA BULLOCK [THE BLIND SIDE]
c. HELEN MIRREN [THE LAST STATION]
d. CAREY MULLIGAN [AN EDUCATION]
e. GABOUREY SIDIBE [PRECIOUS]

3. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

a. JEFF BRIDGES [CRAZY HEART]
b. GEORGE CLOONEY [UP IN THE AIR]
c. COLIN FIRTH [A SINGLE MAN]
d. MORGAN FREEMAN [INVICTUS]
e. TOBEY MAGUIRE [BROTHERS]

4. BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. (500) DAYS OF SUMMER
b. THE HANGOVER
c. IT’S COMPLICATED
d. JULIE & JULIA
e. NINE

5. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. SANDRA BULLOCK [THE PROPOSAL]
b. MARION COTILLARD [NINE]
c. JULIA ROBERTS [DUPLICITY]
d. MERYL STREEP [IT’S COMPLICATED]
e. MERYL STREEP [JULIE & JULIA]

6. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. MATT DAMON [THE INFORMANT!]
b. DANIEL DAY-LEWIS [NINE]
c. ROBERT DOWNEY JR [SHERLOCK HOLMES]
d. JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT [(500) DAYS OF SUMMER]
e. MICHAEL STUHLBARG [A SERIOUS MAN]

7. BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

a. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS
b. CORALINE
c. FANTASTIC MR. FOX
d. THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG
e. UP

9. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE

a. PENÉLOPE CRUZ [NINE]
b. VERA FARMIGA [UP IN THE AIR]
c. ANNA KENDRICK [UP IN THE AIR]
d. MO’NIQUE [PRECIOUS]
e. JULIANNE MOORE [A SINGLE MAN]

10. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE

a. MATT DAMON [INVICTUS]
b. WOODY HARRELSON [THE MESSENGER]
c. CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER [THE LAST STATION]
d. STANLEY TUCCI [THE LOVELY BONES]
e. CHRISTOPH WALTZ [INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS]

11. BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE

a. KATHRYN BIGELOW [THE HURT LOCKER]
b. JAMES CAMERON [AVATAR]
c. CLINT EASTWOOD [INVICTUS]
d. JASON REITMAN [UP IN THE AIR]
e. QUENTIN TARANTINO [INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS]

12. BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE

a. NEILL BLOMKAMP, TERRI TATCHELL[ DISTRICT 9]
b. MARK BOAL [THE HURT LOCKER]
c. NANCY MEYERS [IT'S COMPLICATED]
d. JASON REITMAN, SHELDON TURNER [UP IN THE AIR]
e. QUENTIN TARANTINO [INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS]

15. BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

a. BIG LOVE (HBO)
b. DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
c. HOUSE (FOX)
d. MAD MEN (AMC)
e. TRUE BLOOD (HBO)

16. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

a. GLENN CLOSE [DAMAGES]
b. JANUARY JONES [MAD MEN]
c. JULIANNA MARGULIES [THE GOOD WIFE]
d. ANNA PAQUIN [TRUE BLOOD]
e. KYRA SEDGWICK [THE CLOSER]

17. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

a. SIMON BAKER [THE MENTALIST]
b. MICHAEL C. HALL[DEXTER]
c. JON HAMM [MAD MEN]
d. HUGH LAURIE [HOUSE]
e. BILL PAXTON [BIG LOVE]

18. BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. 30 ROCK (NBC)
b. ENTOURAGE (HBO)
c. GLEE (FOX)
d. MODERN FAMILY (ABC)
e. THE OFFICE (NBC)

19. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. TONI COLLETTE [UNITED STATES OF TARA]
b. COURTENEY COX [COUGAR TOWN]
c. EDIE FALCO [NURSE JACKIE]
d. TINA FEY [30 ROCK]
e. LEA MICHELE [GLEE]

20. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. ALEC BALDWIN [30 ROCK]
b. STEVE CARELL [THE OFFICE]
c. DAVID DUCHOVNY [CALIFORNICATION]
d. THOMAS JANE [HUNG]
e. MATTHEW MORRISON [GLEE]

24. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

a. JANE ADAMS [HUNG]
b. ROSE BYRNE [DAMAGES]
c. JANE LYNCH [GLEE]
d. JANET McTEER [INTO THE STORM]
e. CHLOË SEVIGNY [BIG LOVE]

25. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

a. MICHAEL EMERSON [LOST]
b. NEIL PATRICK HARRIS [HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER]
c. WILLIAM HURT [DAMAGES]
d. JOHN LITHGOW [DEXTER]
e. JEREMY PIVEN [ENTOURAGE]