Looks almost as painful as watching this movie.[Note, this shit has zero stars. I only gave it half so you could see the review.]
This movie is a piece of fucking shit.
The entire thing is so lazily fucking put together, that Sam Raimi couldn't give a shit whether we're interested or not, he just wants our fucking money.
First of all, these characters are adults. So why do they fucking act like little pussy emo bitches who cry and whine and go to the mall? God, the script makes every possible character (including Aunt May) into a black-wearing, long hair over the face-sporting, eye shadow-wearing emo fucking cunt. When Peter goes "evil"? Yeah, he turns emo. Ooooh, character development!
Yeah, fuck this steaming pile of horse vomit.
Villains? Way too fucking many. Fuck Venom. Why did Topher Grace play him? Can someone answer that? A musclebound alien played by the dork from That 70s Show? Tom Church's Sandman is played well, but the movie stops giving a shit about him halfway through. James Franco squints and pouts like a little spoiled brat.... Er, okay. That's fine, then. Franco's cool.
But there are so many goddamn characters jammed into this, that none of them serve any purpose whatsoever. By the time the movie's done, you've stopped caring at all, because the only thing mattering are the effects, which, while awesome, shouldn't be the main draw considering the previous two were about characterization.
AND THAT STUPID PLOT TWIST. "Hi, I'm the butler who's gonna show up in the 3rd act and change your personality completely and then fade into the background!"
Who fucking wrote this movie, a retarded giraffe?
Spider-Man 3 is the worst movie I've ever seen.
Not really, but I'm glad to say that I enjoy Batman & Robin more than this stupid, unfunny, and ultimately retarded attempt at me exchanging money for a shit-smeared dog semen fest that calls itself a "movie".
Zero fucking stars.
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